For Love
by leith
Summary: BH friendship. Some violence but nothing very graphic. Pretty angsty. I suck at summaries.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer:** Andromeda doesn't belong to me; it belongs to Tribune. This was written for entertainment onlyand no money has been exchanged (unfortunately).

**Rating:**15 (suggestion of violence but nothing too graphic, mild swearing, this prologue is about as bad as it gets)

**Spoilers:**None

**Archive:**Probably but please ask me first anyway.

**Summary:** I really suck at these. B/H friendship. Quite a lot of angst. Flashbacks and instances of violence but nothing too graphic.

What is done out of love always takes place beyond good and evil

Frederick Nietzsche

**Prologue**

This place can't be real. All of this, it has to be a nightmare. The screams I can hear they wouldn't be coming from her, it's not possible that anyone would lock another person up in this hell hole where that smell of rotting flesh and blood cling to every dark, stained stone.

Finally I see and end to this corridor but it is not a welcome one, the shiny steel door is the only clean thing I have seen so far but the marks on the walls and floor surrounding it do nothing to inspire confidence. This is where the screams are coming from. Carefully I creep forward trying not to think about what I am walking through.

The door isn't locked – but to my mind that just meant nobody inside would be in a fit state to escape, and nobody would be expected to voluntarily break in to this prison. I pushed the door open and went in firing immediately hitting the two of the thugs, just standing there, watching. As the others turned away from their subject to see what the commotion was I fired on them too.

Then I saw what their bodies had been shielding and fired again, and again. They were long dead but if I focussed on them I couldn't see what was on the small wooden pallet. Finally I stopped and slowly hesitantly walked over to the figure lying deathly still staring blankly up to the ceiling. Her slim frame now naked and marred by brutal scars.

As I reached out for her she flinched away and that single motion caused a flood of pain and anger to course through me. Hesitantly I reached out to her and this time she didn't move – didn't show any recognition that I was there at all. The only sign that she was breathing came from the shallow rise and fall of her chest.

Pulling off her jacket I wrapped her in it and to my surprise I could lift her easily, the fact she had lost so much weight in so short a time scared me all the more. I walked as fast as possible out of the stinking pit vaguely aware of alarms now ringing and people running at me. I shot them all, those bastards had done this to her and deserved to be punished. After a while no more came and the building rang with a cloaking silence.


	2. Chapter 1

Thanks for the reveiws :)

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**Chapter 1**

I awoke to terrible shrieks and for a second I was back in that stinking pit but then my mind snapped awake and I rushed over to Beka's bed. She lay there obviously asleep but in the throes of some awful nightmare. I gently shushed her and stroked the hair away from her face. Eventually she calmed down without waking and drifted back into a dreamless sleep.

This routine had been going on for a week now and still she hadn't spoken a word to anyone, she wouldn't eat or drink and when awake lay there silently despite all my efforts. I sat with her and talked and was even sleeping near her on the med deck. Her body seemed to be healing fine but the emotional wounds did not look like they were getting better.

"She will talk when she is ready."

I looked up startled, as I hadn't seen Andromeda's hologram appear.

"You worrying yourself near to death wont help. There was nothing else you could have done."

"I know but it doesn't make it any easier."

"Just carry on doing what you have been. Eventually she'll open up. I promise."

"Thanks." I replied giving her a weak smile but not feeling any more comforted she disappeared again and after one final check I went back over to bed.

"Well the AP valves are working perfectly now I was a bit worried for a while but they're fine and the slipstream controls are in perfect condition after that recalibration I did. Trance's plant Gavin is doing fine as she's watering him more and…"

I stopped in the middle of my monologue on the ship as Dylan walked into the room and walked over to the bed. I knew that none of this was his fault. She had asked to go of on shore leave by herself and he had just given her permission but I still felt that he should have gone after her with the Andromeda when she was late although I knew she had said three weeks was an approximate date but… who was I kidding I just wanted, needed to blame somebody for this and as Captain he was the nearest target.

"How's she doing?"

"Same as before." I replied not rising from my position holding her hand gently as if she might break.

"Mind if I sit here for a while?" Dylan asked, and I realised he felt as guilty as hell too. I smiled at him and nodded

"Sure."

We sat for what seemed like ages both of us lost in our own thoughts and occasionally talking to Beka before fading off again. We felt helpless, we knew she needed to talk about what had happened, needed to unburden herself from all the pain and suffering but I wasn't sure if I wanted to hear.

"We're thinking of visiting Infinity for a bit of crew downtime, you need to be up and about for that don't you? Remember that was the first planet you took me to and I didn't know how to behave at all, you had to keep telling me off for things I thought of as completely normal. Then I came back completely drunk and you said I would never…"

I broke off in the middle of reminiscence I was sure, just for a second I had felt a gentle pressure on my hand trying to quell the hope inside me I carried on eagerly looking for any response.

"You said I would never be allowed out on another planet again and you wouldn't let me leave the ship on the next two until we reached Peggelor and I sneaked out. Dou you remember what happened then!"

This time I was sure of it, a faint but deliberate pressure and perhaps a tiny curve in her lips, I looked up at Dylan and knew that he had seen a change too. With renewed vigour I continued my conversation until Beka drifted off to sleep.

Perhaps there was hope after all.


	3. Chapter 2

Thanks again to reveiwers

**Chapter 2**

"I cant Harper, just leave me alone. I can't talk about it. Not yet."

This had been going on for two weeks. Two weeks since I had seen that small smile. She had woken up the next day and by now her physical injuries were completely gone. But she kept insisting she was fine, insisting she didn't need help, a shoulder to cry on, a sympathetic ear. Then she would appear on Command or in the Mess Hall having obviously just been crying with red eyes and tousled hair.

She was so much quieter too, and didn't have the same presence that she used to hold about her, sometimes she would laugh but the sparkle it produced in her eye was quickly doused again once she remembered what had happened. That flinch also still remained, if any of us came near her without her realising we were coming or being able to see us she would start away before remembering that we weren't to be feared.

All of us could see the strain it was taking on her and knew that for her to heal she had to let it out and tell someone what had happened down there, why she was there in the first place even. It was meant to be a simple few weeks of shore leave on Camperli Drift but in the end I had found her on the other side of the galaxy on that hellhole of a planet.

Andromeda had already told me basically what she had been through, beatings, whippings… rape. I could barely think about it but I would listen to her talk about it forever if it would bring the old Beka back.

"You have to Boss, please. Why don't you just tell me what happened first, after you left the Andromeda?"

"No, I don't want to, it's none of your business anyway."

"Look, just tell me what happened when you reached Camperli, we know you got there because that's where the Maru was. Come on what harm can it do?"

_6 weeks ago…_

She gently landed the ship in its designated docking booth and stepped out into the artificial sunlight. Stretching after being cramped in the pilot's chair for hours she walked slowly across the hangar and into the main part of the drift. She was looking forward to a couple of weeks just relaxing on her own here where the prices weren't too high but it was clean and safe, or at least as clean and safe as places got nowadays.

Strolling past the booths lining the street she paused to look at some of the items for sale thinking about what presents she could get for the rest of the crew she picked up the occasional trinket before replacing it on the stall and carrying on not going anywhere in particular just enjoying the drift.

Eventually she reached a cafe that she'd visited once before and remembered did some pretty decent food. Halfway through eating she glanced up and thought she saw… somebody just a flicker of recognition but then it was gone and she dismissed it as a trick of the mind or another hauler who she'd met once or twice.

That night she awoke suddenly and immediately grabbed her gun but couldn't hear anything, couldn't see anything either. Then it came again, the softest of sounds like a small footfall or perhaps a muffled breath. Sliding out of bed she walked towards the door but before she could reach it, it swung open and a bright light shone into her face, she blinked and could see behind the door…

"No I, Harper just go away, go away please."

I nodded at her and turned to leave, pressuring her now wouldn't do me any good and at least she had made a start. I smiled one more time before walking out the door.


	4. Chapter 3

:( no reveiws for this one. You have to rember to feed the writers...

**Chapter 3 **

Behind the door… he'd been standing there she'd tried to duck but wasn't fast enough as his hand shot up and with one shot she fell into blackness.

Waking she was disorientated, her head was spinning and the walls seemed to be moving around her. Blinking she tried to sit up but a sharp pain shot straight through her and she collapsed onto the bed before quickly rolling over and vomiting on the floor, unconsciousness quickly reclaimed her. Next time that she awoke she felt slightly better – at least the walls were now their regular shape and seemed to be pretty still. Looking around from her prone position she saw that she was in some kind of cell with blank grey walls and nothing but her small bed inside it.

Deciding to risk moving again she carefully stood up and finding that her stomach simply rolled a little walked carefully over to the door avoiding the patch of floor where she had previously thrown up. Walking across to the door Beka realised from the vibrations she could felt through her feet the very probably she was on a ship. Then the memories came flooding back of him and what had happened on the Maru and the need to be sick came back full force. Swallowing thickly she leant against the door looking for any latch or lock, any wires which she could manipulate but apart from the small seam around its edge it was as smooth and featureless as the rest of the tiny prison.

Moving back over to her bed she sat wondered how the hell she'd get out of this one. How had he found her after all this time and what did he want with her? No don't go there she told herself and took a few deep breaths trying to calm herself at the thought. As if on cue the door slowly opened to reveal him standing there staring at her with a slow smile spreading across his face. Holding his weapon in front of him he gently crossed the floor and came to rest at the foot of her bed where he sat down never once taking his eyes from hers. Gingerly he reached out a hand to her. Beka quickly brought up her fists and his eyes went colder.

"Guards"

Two heavyset humans walked in from where they must have been waiting just out of sight. One held her down to stop her struggling whilst the other snapped cuffs on her hands and fastened her to the bed. They then left discretely shutting the door behind them and it was just him and her.


	5. Chapter 4

Yay reveiw for the last one :)

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**Chapter 4**

This couldn't carry on, the dreadful suspense that she lived in always afraid that he'd appear again. She was just so tired all the time – tired of being scared, tired of the nightmares, tired of crying herself to sleep and then wake up crying the next morning as her mind took her through what had happened in one dreadful dream after another.

The trouble was she didn't know how to make it stop how to make herself normal again and erase what had happened. She couldn't talk to anyone however much they asked they wouldn't understand they'd think it was her fault, after all, it was in a way. If she hadn't done what she had to him all those years ago then this would never have come about.

But it couldn't carry on she kept seeing him just around the corner everywhere she went and had flashes of the smiling faces of her friends bruised and torn as he carried out all of the things that e had told her he would do to them if she left him again. She couldn't do that to her friends it would be her fault like everything else and hey wouldn't even know it.

Walking around the corner she saw Dylan at the other end of the corridor talking to some people she didn't know. One turned to look and in that second she knew that he had caught her, Dylan turned smiling towards her holding out a hand to introduce the others but she had already turned away. She would leave, leave all of them run and hide and run again so he would never find her – if he was trying to find her he wouldn't hurt Harper or Dylan or Trance.

And if she was running if she had to think to survive then maybe she wouldn't think about everything else and eventually the aching would stop. Maybe.

By now she was running down the corridor towards the Maru she was vaguely aware of Andromeda calling out to her as she sped past but she didn't stop to hear the words. Collapsing into the pilots seat she powered up the engines but the hanger doors wouldn't open, and her ship seemed to be trying to drag downwards back towards the deck. He was trying to catch her again he was controlling the ship already. It was true what he had said she could never escape, not really. With a clang she let the Maru fall back to he ground and curled up on the chair. Vaguely she registered the airlock opening and running feet coming towards her. Someone wrapped thir arms around herand she waited for what she knew would come next. But nothing happened, slowl she looked up at harper who was staring at her with a worried look. Harper! She had to tell him and warn him!

"He's here, he's here we have to leave, we have to leave now!" she hurriedly said struggling to reach the pilots controls again.

"Who's here?" Harper replied looking anxiously around

"Him, he's with Dylan, he wouldn't let me leave."

"You mean the officials from Jexcara?"

"Officials?"

"Those are the only different people on the ship. They're here for a tour of the Commonwealth – or at least those bits we can reach in 7 solar days."

"He isn't here?"

"I don't know who he is but I don't think so, believe me no one got out of that prison except you and me." Harper replied his face going hard, "You're safe here – trust me."

Nodding she let her head fall back into his shoulder and gradually let her eyes drift shut.

"Harper – Dylan needs to speak to you on command" Andromeda's voice said softly through the speakers.

"Right now? Tell him to wait."

"Right now" Andromeda commanded looking worried "he needs to talk to you this minute."


	6. Chapter 5

:( no reveiws for that one - I know your reading it...

**Chapter 5**

Harper came onto command not in the best of moods and fully intending to yell at Dylan. What could be more important at the moment than making sure Beka was OK? The look on Dylan and the officials' faces however stopped him before he had chance.

"That ship in the hanger," hissed the reptilian Jexacaran, "it belongs to you?"

Harper automatically look to Dylan, did they mean the Maru?

"We followed Beka after she ran off but when they saw her ship they became… agitated and insisted on talking to me in private," clarified Dylan.

"So it belongs to the woman, please call her here to explain herself," another of the officials asked.

"Why, what's going on Dylan? Tell me,"

"I don't know anymore than you I called you here hoping you could shed some light on the situation as they wont tell me anything"

"Situations of this nature aren't normally discussed with anyone other than the accused… however since we don't know who the accused is then maybe it is right to show you."

At a signal from their leader another of the Jexecarans handed a data chip to Dylan who brought up the video it contained on the main screen. A shaky but identifiable picture of the Maru filled the view as it took off from a lush green planet before pausing for a minute then turning and firing several rounds into what can only have been a structure hidden behind the foliage as a second later huge ball of flame shot into the sky and the ship turned and flew out of view.

"The structure was destroyed a few weeks ago and belonged to one of our governments financial backers in an adjacent system. Luckily he wasn't there at the time but many of his personnel – not to mention the real estate – were destroyed. We have been searching for the perpetrator and now have found them. If it is the woman's ship then she must be the one who did this. We will take her into custody now."

"Wait – Beka is my first officer and would have been unable to destroy anything for many weeks. She was taken prisoner and then confined to this ship since." Interrupted Dylan.

"Never the less she must be questioned and stand trial. We will get the truth eventually."

"It wasn't Beka," cut in Harper in a small voice, "it was me…"

_7 weeks ago…_

I shot them all, those bastards had done this to her and deserved to be punished. After a while no more came and the building rang with a cloaking silence. Finally I reached the exit hatch and carefully pulled Beka out before running through the thick undergrowth to where I had hidden the Maru.

Crashing through the leaves I got to the airlock and took Beka through to her small cabin laying her gently on her bed and trying not to see the scars and the way that her skin was mottled black and blue.

Walking through to the pilot's chair I started the take off and mechanically went through the motions as I tried to deny what I had seen. As I rose above the undergrowth a terrified scream came from the quarters behind me. I ran through to where had left Beka to find her alone but tossing on the bed as if tied down by something and her petrified moans went straight to my heart. I ran back into the pilots seat and targeted the prison before pressing down on the firing controls and not stopping until all of the ammo was gone. Then I turned away from the horrendous place and headed straight back to Andromeda, my only though that I had to keep Beka safe.


End file.
